Whiskers_In_The_Ear
Moderator
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Subject: "Plane" speaking? Thu May 14, 2009 4:23 pm |
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Qantas Airlines: Repair Division In case you need a laugh: Remember, it takes a college degree to fly a plane but only a high school diploma to fix one. After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "Gripe Sheet" which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems; document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the Gripe Sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humour. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement. S: Almost replaced left inside main tire. P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough. S: Auto-land not installed on this airc raft. P: Something loose in cockpit. S: Something tightened in cockpit. P: Dead bugs on windshield. S: Live bugs on back-order. P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute Descent. S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground. P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. S: Evidence removed. P: DME volume unbelievably loud. S: DME volume set to more believable level. P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick. S: That's what friction locks are for. P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode. S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode. P: Suspected crack in windshield. S: Suspect you're right. P: Number 3 engine missing. S: Engine found on right wing after brief search. P: Aircraft handles fun ny........... S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious. P: Target radar hums. S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics. P: Mouse in cockpit. S: Cat installed. And the best one for last.................. P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer. =0 A S: Took hammer away from midget.
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GSD Lifeline
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Subject: Re: "Plane" speaking? Thu May 14, 2009 4:28 pm |
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That has made me laugh thanks Mel! After a long day I can go to bed chuckling
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Whiskers_In_The_Ear
Moderator
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Subject: Re: "Plane" speaking? Thu May 14, 2009 4:34 pm |
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LOL im glad hehe
Sweet dreams
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vickylizzy
Admin
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Subject: Re: "Plane" speaking? Thu May 14, 2009 4:41 pm |
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Those are brilliant!! I've never heard them before! That's really cheered me up.
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Subject: Re: "Plane" speaking? |
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