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The Joke Thread

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GSD Lifeline

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PostSubject: The Joke Thread† †Thu Apr 23, 2009 10:31 am

Feel free to post, on this thread, any jokes you think will give us all a giggle! lol!
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GSD Lifeline

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PostSubject: Re: The Joke Thread† †Thu Apr 23, 2009 10:40 am

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the clerk.

He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack.



'Miss Whack, I'd like to get a £30,000 loan to take a holiday.'

Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name.

The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay,

he knows the bank manager.

Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.
The frog says, 'Sure. I have this,' and produces a tiny porcelain elephant,

about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.

Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager

and disappears into a back office.

She finds the manager and says, 'There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there

who claims to know you and wants to borrow £30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral.'
She holds up the tiny pink elephant. 'I mean, what in the world is this?'

(you're gonna love this)

(its a real treat)

(a masterpiece)

(wait for it)



The bank manager looks back at her and says...
'It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan..... His old man's a Rolling Stone.'

(You're singing it, aren't you? Yeah, I know you are..)
Never take life too seriously! Come on now, you grinned, I know you did!!!

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vickylizzy
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PostSubject: Re: The Joke Thread† †Tue Apr 28, 2009 2:38 am

Oh no!!! D'oh! Razz lol!
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marypoppins

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PostSubject: Re: The Joke Thread† †Tue Apr 28, 2009 3:08 am

i liked it. ROFL
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GSD Lifeline

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PostSubject: Re: The Joke Thread† †Tue Apr 28, 2009 2:30 pm

Wife says to husband, "You make love like you decorate."

Husband replies, "What very slow and professional?"

"NO,"she replies, "I have to finish the job myself."
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marypoppins

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PostSubject: Re: The Joke Thread† †Wed Apr 29, 2009 3:42 am

3 dogs sitting at a bar.
a German Shepard, Golden Retriever and a chiuahauha they all noticed the beautiful lady dog walk in.

after a while of them lookin at her and talking amongst themselves. she walks over and says; i've noticed you all looking at me all night. so i decided i'd give one of you a shot.

German Shepard says; What's the catch?
Lady dog replies; Who ever can use the words liver and cheese best in a sentence i'll go out with you.

with a look of confidence the Golden Retriever speaks up and says; thats easy! i love liver and i hate cheese.
Lady Dog looks at him and says; yea that's nice but not good enough.
German Shepard then says; how bout, I love cheese but I hate liver.
As the Lady Dog rolls her eyes she says; very original....

The chiuahauha jumps down from his chair looks up to the two other dogs and says; liver alone boys cheese mine.
ROFL Crying With Laughter



my second...


A man dressed as a pirate goes into a bar. He has the whole pirate getup - an eyepatch, earring, parrot on his shoulder, and even a pegleg. The only odd thing is that he has a nautical steering wheel attached to his crotch.

He approaches the bartender for a drink. The bartender obliges and looks at him quizzically. "I understand the pirate getup, with the eyepatch and everything, but whats with the steering wheel?"

"Yarrrr," responds the pirate. "It's drivin' me nuts."

ROFL
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The Joke Thread

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